Because You’re Worth It!

We had a look at Formula One beards last year, and this insight into that crop of facial fuzz has coincided a seemingly unstoppable interest into what drivers wear on their chins. It’s gotten so big it’s left the realms of the internet and reached out into reality, #F1BEARDWATCH has been out on tour and hit up Barcelona testing on its first stop. Yes, things can get this serious when you deprive a fan of Formula One.

Who is worth it?

Who has the best bouffant on the circuit? Who has the mane that all the others are jealous of? And which driver needs a little help ‘up top’? Without further ado, let’s get down to the hair Oscars of 2011…

Contender 1: Fernando Alonso

(Photo credit: Ferrari S.p.A)

Getting a picture of this guy without his regulation Ferrari cap has been pretty tricky, which led me to believe that since his foray into facial fuzz ownership, the subsequent media focus has made the biggest ego in F1 a wee bit shy. What lay underneath his cotton/polyester cloak? A rather strange attempt at a Beatle’s bowl cut…seriously Alonso?

Award: Cover it up

Contender 2: Sebastian Vettel

(Photo credit: Head and Shoulders)

Now this guy, he maybe a champion on the track but when it comes to hairography he has no rhythm. As a youngster he had a verifiable mop and joining Toro Rosso required the aerodynamic decision of a grade 2 shave. Red Bull, however, has created a more relaxed atmosphere (for his hair at least) and now he looks like he’s rolled off the beach. An homage to his teammate’s home nation perhaps? No…didn’t think so…he’s trimmed it off for 2011, keeping the beard and the sponsorship it seems (this is why you need management!)

Award: I’m a big boy now!

Contender 3: Nico Rosberg

(Photo credit: Mercedes GP)

You didn’t think I would forget the owner of the most famous head of hair, did you? They don’t call him Britney for nothing you know. The flaxen locks of this German native have provided the paddock with countless hours on entertainment, not least when someone cleverly intercepted his passport and inserted a photo of his pop star connection. However, perhaps in an effort he’s lopped it all off and has moved from pop princess to boyband babe.

Award: Most luxurious

Contender 4: Nick Heidfeld

(Photo credit: Lotus Renault GP)

Following on from the music theme that seems to have a firm grip on the first two award winners, Heidfeld has definitely got a bad case of Bieber fever (forgive me F1 gods, for I have sinned), that sweeping fringe says it all, it’s just a shame he doesn’t follow the Canadian midget on Twitter…he’s cut his hair off and lost 80,000 tweens in the process. This hair lark is a dangerous business.

Award: Bieberlicious

Contender 5: Mark Webber

(Photo credit: Mark Thompson/Getty Images Europe)

Even with the revelations that he hasn’t owned a hairbrush for 12 years hasn’t harmed his ability to sweep ladies off their feet with a suave hairdo. Although the photo he tweeted before Christmas was a bit of a shocker (but I’ve used that already), the off season has been good for the Aussie.

Award: The Naturalist

Contender 6: Sergio Perez

(Photo credit: Sauber Motorsport)

A rookie on the track and perhaps a rookie in the hairscaping business too, regardless of your age taking inspiration from a teeny tiny plastic toy is never a good way to go (or Nigel Mansell for that matter). Maybe in time he’ll incorporate a funky new barnet into his life as an F1 driver, but for the time being Perez will just have to live with this dubious title.

Award: The Minifig

Contender 7: Adrian Sutil

(Photo credit: Force India)

Known around the paddock as a bit of a fashionista and a Lewis Hamilton hand-holder (one dodgy photo), it comes as no surprise that the German takes care of his hair as well. Just like some of the others winning awards tonight, his hair has been seen elsewhere and this time its seen fist-pumping around the Jersey Shore. Some might say we have a situation here…

Award: GTL!

Contender(s) 8: Felipe Massa and Rob Smedley

(Photo credit: Paul Gilham/Getty Images Europe)

Tell me who can’t smile when this pairing is mentioned? Definitely going down in history for some of the most memorable radio transmissions, but how about for the best team hair? Smedley is the beholder of the modern cut, doing it for the younger fans, while Massa expertly caters for the more discerning customer.

Award: Staying Cool Baby

I could have been a contender!

(Photo credit: Williams)

Another near miss for one of the nicest guys on the track. But it’s hard not to notice that the ultimate veteran as thinning on top, something that the driver has come to terms with. “Dye my hair with colours? No, never. I’m just losing my hair so I’m not painting it!” We’ll be watching Rubens…

(Pinched from the Christian Horner Fan Club website)

Now that is how to sell a hairstyle…I know he’s not a driver, but the guy has a fan club that is literally obsessed with his ‘bouff’ (prepare yourself), so it’s only fair to add him.

(Photo credit: Getty images)

A vintage treat for you all, now that is some serious hair ownage right there. He’s fully utilising every inch given to him and making it work. Emerson Fittipaldi, thou art a legend.

Who would you nominate?

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Comments
7 Responses to “Because You’re Worth It!”
  1. Samantha says:

    LOL

    Love the photo of Horner! Love the blog! Thanks for writing it!

  2. Valerie "willough" says:

    Fab blog….Mmmmm Christian Horner gets my vote…..The “bouff” is sooooo Oooooh La La!!!! (faints) lol

  3. Jack Flash says:

    Ha! Nice Blog.
    What is going on with Perez and his Ken doll “plastic hair-do”? WIERD !!!!

    He He He….. “Britney “Rosberg photos always give me a good chuckle.
    Nico must really be a bit annoyed at Mark Webber for first chucking that nickname his way in his Rookie Season. The name has really stuck,and got a life of its own, and short of Nico doing something really radical with “his-do” (like doing a Britney head shave – Oh wait – that would make it more fitting wouldn’t it). Nico will keep this tag for life.

    JF

  4. Thank you for a great post.

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