Rookie F1

By: Jo Atkinson (@jagolevert)

December for most marks the beginning of Yuletide, a period of festivity and goodwill, where families gather around their Christmas trees or Menorahs (or any other applicable festive items), singing, laughing and basking in the glow of an open fire. This, however, is not the case for all.

There are some of us that shun the merrymaking, choosing instead to gaze mournfully out of the window, playing sad songs on our mental jukeboxes and pretending we’re in a slushy gushy music video for the broken hearted. The jolly families look upon these people with mingled looks of disdain and disgust. Don’t they know it’s Christmas/Hannukah/any other applicable holiday? They whisper amongst themselves, Why are they so irritable? And why are they pretending to be Joey/Chandler from F.R.I.E.N.D.S post their split as roommates? They’re just desecrating a televisual institution now.

Perhaps they think it’s the bad weather, bringing on SAD so strongly that no amounts of tinsel or bad Christmas jumpers will cheer us up. How wrong they are. It is in fact SOSAD (hurr hurr): Soul-crushing Off Season Apathy/Anger Disorder, a period of time between November and March when us Formula 1 fans are forced to go cold Turkey (and eat cold Turkey, eugh) and survive several months without our favourite past time. Approaching these individuals should be undertaken with extreme caution as they are often prone to cantankerous fits of flailing arms and V8 imitations.

There is a cure. A gift for the Formula 1 fan in your life. Forget the team t shirts and official reviews (Seriously, forget it, who on Earth would release a DVD on Boxing Day?! FOM was clearly having a moment of utter madness there ..), this is what your beloved petrol head needs to get them through the winter: The BBCF1 2011 Playlist. An eclectic list of (almost*) all the music featured in the BAFTA award winning BBC Formula 1 coverage, presented by Jake Humphrey with David Coulthard and Eddie Jordan.

From the Rolling Stones to Adele, from Aloe Blacc to Black Box, from Ennio Morricone to Punjabi MC, this glorious collection of music more colourful and wondrously peculiar than EJ’s collection of shirts will rouse your loved one out of their SOSAD funk and get them reliving all those glorious moments such as EJ duckbutting in the Red Bull floaterhome swimming pool, Jake’s magnificent gurning on the Ferrari world roller coaster and DC being outed on live television for his racing driver fetish (Much to Eddie’s jealousy). And with 170 tracks, there are just under 12 hours of musical magic to work through, ensuring a much less Scrooge-esque mood for at least half of Christmas day, and all this can be yours for the low low price of £49.99. (Just kidding. But seriously Beeb, if you’d have thought about selling this as a stocking filler, you would be able to afford the broadcasting fee and you’d be able to broadcast all races live. Me? Bitter? Of course not ..**)

Or for an additional £10, you can purchase the Christmas edition with three bonus tracks from the Mercedes GP Freestyla’s: Mustang Sally (RIIIIIIIIIIIDE SAALLLLLYYYY RIIIIIIIIIDE!) (Original by Lou Reed), Where desh shtshhhh ‘ave no naaaaaaaaaame (Original by U2) and Bohemian Rhapsody (Original by Queen) sung in v., v. flat.

Merry Christmas/Hannukah/Any other applicable holiday folks!

The Masterlist

*Some of the music was impossible to find, some I couldn’t find because my internet was arguing with me and I got angry and very nearly drop kicked my laptop through the window, and some I may have missed because I was too busy snortling at the funny moments. Usually Eddie saying something preposterous, Jake trying to steer the conversation towards something better resembling sanity and DC giggling in the background.

**Disclaimer: I love the BBC’s coverage,  this year has been really top notch, I just wish us poor students who can barely afford to pay our Internet bills, let alone buy a Sky sports package, would be able to watch F1 live next year.